Living the Best Days of My Life

Musings by the fire

The cool temperature this morning gave me the excuse I needed to build a fire in the fireplace.  This is the first one since last winter.  I enjoy having a fireplace and I love sitting in front of it when its bed is filled with glowing embers and the flames twirl and leap like choreographed dancers on top of the logs.  The crackling and wooshing sounds compose their own beautiful melody and I find myself slowing down and taking a few moments to reflect.

I am much older than I used to be.  This has become plainly apparent to me lately. There are the obvious physical indications. Gravity is making it's mark on my physical appearance, wear and tear is much more noticeable on my joints, over time the sun has affected the look and texture of my skin, and my eyes -- my eyes are not as young as I remember them being.

In addition to the physical evidences of aging, I have noticed that my life experiences have affected how I perceive life in general. This seems to be somehow closely braided with my spiritual journey. I suppose it is all part of a natural maturing process.

Reflecting with a grateful heart is sometimes overwhelming.  When I stop and realize the magnitude of God's blessings in my life, it almost takes my breath away.  So many wonderful gifts have been presented to me over the years.  They are a pleasure to open and are accompanied by smiles and giggles, fun and laughter, abounding in feelings of joy and excitement. 

But struggles and difficulties are also a part of life. We all experience them.  We may not share the same strain of hardships, but we all know how it feels to walk through times of suffering.

We've probably all known darkness that felt all-consuming.  The kind of pain that tears at the heart and feels like it will never end.  Maybe an illness of your own, or that of a family member or dear friend. You may have experienced a broken relationship, the death of someone very dear, or endured the heartache of divorce.

There have been times in my life when I felt as though the darkness of the difficulty I was experiencing would drown me.  I have even entertained thoughts on occasion that God was not near and was not going to help me.

Pain is real. Heartaches happen. Darkness does seem to veil His face at times. In these hours of distress we can become a slave to our circumstance, crippled by despair and paralyzed by fear, or we can place our hope and faith in God.

Is it possible that God can use these great sorrows in our life for His glory?  A friend of mine posted a quote on Facebook recently:  Some of God's best gifts must be unwrapped in the darkness. Think of your last major trial. What "good thing" did the Lord slip into your hands in those difficult days? (Joni Erikson)  Joni Erikson knows something about struggles and difficulties.  She has endured sorrow and heartache.  As a young women with her whole life ahead of her, she suffered a neck injury that left her a quadriplegic, bound to a wheelchair and totally dependent on others to care for her most basic of needs.

I admit that I have not experienced a struggle of this magnitude, but I believe that I have been presented with gifts that were unwrapped in the darkness of trials that seemed unbearable.  In the middle of unspeakable assaults upon me by the enemy of my soul, God came near.  I love this quote by Chuck Swindoll:  ‎"When you persevere through a trial, God gives you a special measure of insight. You become the recipient of the favor of God as He gives to you, and those who suffer with you, something that would not be learned otherwise." 

Because God is good I can enjoy life.  As I sit here in front of the beautiful fire that burns in my fireplace I can reflect on the amazingly good life God has given me and say confidently that I wouldn't want to have experienced it without my share of sorrow.  All along the journey I have witnessed His faithful provision.

One of my favorite provisions, beyond the obvious love for my husband and children, is something that causes my heart much joy.  God has given me the gift of amazing friends.  My life is filled with awesome friends that far exceed what I could have ever hoped for or imagined.  Beautiful people with lovely hearts.  Individuals who cause me to laugh and who inspire me to grow and shower me with love and acceptance.

My skin may be losing the fight with gravity and sun damage, my joints and eyes may evidence my years on earth, but my journey is sweet.  My heart declares that every day is made by God and whether it is filled with sunshine or rain, it gives reason to rejoice.  Indeed, I am living the best days of my life.  

On My Knees -- a prayer song for our pastor

We were blessed yesterday to celebrate our Pastor's 50th birthday.  I was honored to contribute a small part to the celebration by writing a song for the worship service.  And while I wrote the song with our pastor in mind, I believe it speaks to all of us and the wonderful privilege we have of accessing the Father through prayer.  Prayer is an amazing gift we have been given by a loving God who desires a full and intimate relationship with us.


On My Knees
words and music by Terha Knittel
copyright 2011
Etched within the emptiness I sometimes feel
When strength to handle one more thing does not exist
In corners dark, elusive answers are playing hide and seek
Despair has mocked my faith and fear has raised it's fist -- at me


My hope is found when to the ground
My knees come to a rest
Bowed beneath a weight I simply cannot bear
I am here in this holy place of prayer


CHORUS

Down on my knees I will find all I need

Down on my knees I'll find You're all I need

As I look to You

And I trust in You

Here with you, on my knees

The heart holds all His faithfulness that time reveals
I'm not alone, or on my own, He lives in me
In tender moments held within His warm embrace
My spirit soars and once again my heart is free


My hope is found when to the ground
My knees come to a rest
And every question, every burden, every care
Is heard inside this holy place of prayer


CHORUS
Down on my knees I will find all I need

Down on my knees I'll find You're all I need

As I look to You

And I trust in You

Here with you, on my knees


(bridge -- )
I called Your name, You came

Your heard me, healed me
Your love has overwhelmed me
Your grace sufficient held me
Strength when I am weary
Power when I'm weak
The comfort I rely on
You're the wisdom that I seek

CHORUS

Down on my knees I will find all I need

Down on my knees I'll find You're all I need

As I look to You

And I trust in You

Here with you, on my knees

Everyday Reality: Ostrich Need Not Apply

On second thought...if reality was covered with marshmallows 

it would cushion the impact when it hits you 'up aside the head' 

AND the marshmallows could then be used as a tasty topping 

to a nice cup of hot chocolate (diversion therapy :)

( Terha Knittel, Facebook, 9/14/11)

When reality comes at you like a jumbo jet and uses your face as a landing field ... it's kind of hard to miss it.  I wonder if this is why we are sometimes prone to living like the proverbial ostrich with our head stuck in the sand.  There are certainly times when this way of dealing with life seems easier. No confrontations. No accountability. No responsibility for holding anyone accountable.  No messy stuff.  Preferring to see things the way we'd like them to be rather than the way they are. Living oblivious to life sounds tempting at times, but it's not real.  It's not truthful.  It's not safe.

Reality must be met head on.  Life must be lived with our eyes open and our ears in tune to what is going on around us.  And we must love.  We must forgive.  Seeing the unbelievable and the undesirable. Hearing the hurtful and regretful. Recognizing our own faults and being willing to accept that we are all faulty. 

The dictionary says disenchantment and disillusion result when we see the harshness of everyday reality. But when we fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, he is our great delight.  The reality we face might affect us, but it doesn't need to destroy us.  And we must forgive. We must love.

There is a genuine-ness to love that is expected of us. Romans 12:9 says, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."  Somehow we find a balance between opening our eyes to truth and choosing to love.  Often truth is ugly.  It reveals information we would rather not know or have known about us.  But we gain very little by ignoring truth in order to escape unpleasantness. To be sure, we are not given the freedom to pronounce judgment and dole out vengeance in the name of truth.   Walking in the Spirit allows our love to be genuine. Galatians 5 tells us the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  The Spirit led life permits us to live and worship in truth amid the harsh realities of life.

Jesus doesn't love us because he turns his head and lives oblivious to our sin.  He loves. Period. He is able to know the deep inner secrets of our lives and, in spite of how unpleasant that may be, he loves us anyway.

We should not be afraid of facing the realities of life or avoid truth in order to remain unshaken.  Life is hard.  We are sinful people.  But we can walk in truth and love if we allow the Holy Spirit to do his work in our lives.  Walking in the Spirit becomes a much more fulfilling and safe place to live rather than with our heads in the sand.

Public Displays of Affection

One of the truly amazing truths about our God is that He came near!  He came to us and desires to be in relationship with us.  He has instigated the relationship. The God of the Universe who holds the world in his hands wants to hold my hand.  That's a personal aspect of relationship often referred to as p.d.a. (public display of affection).  It is a marvelous, humbling privilege to be desired by the God of All Creation and be aware of his beautiful affection for me.

In a song written by John Mark McMillan, How He Loves, there is a phrase he uses that is not usually heard in the radio versions of the song.  

So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss

Talk about public display of affection!  He came near -  bursting on the scene with a huge outpouring of love.  This wasn't a reserved, conservative, socially acceptable display!  He held nothing back and didn't care who was looking.  He came near - unable to contain Love.  

And our response .... is it reserved?  Are we being too conservative?  Do we run our displays of affection for Him through the filter of what is deemed socially acceptable?  I wonder, are we holding back, concerned about whether anyone is looking? 

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, And I realise just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me. 

Oh, how He loves us! Maybe this should be declared The Year of Public Displays of Affection for the Awesome God of Love who is all about holding hands and sloppy wet kisses....huge, demonstrative displays of affection.   

Imagine My Delight

On a Thursday morning, about six years ago, during my bible study and prayer time I was thinking about individuals who had encountered the living Christ.  In my mind I saw the scene of Jesus at the well with the Samaritan woman.  It's a beautiful story from the Bible found in the fourth chapter of John.

I began imagining this same woman several years down the road sitting with other women and young girls who had gathered around her ... wanting to hear her story again.  As she recalls the details there are flash backs to those moments at the well.  I imagine her heart full of joy as she tells them how desperate she had been ... and how beautiful He was.  With smiling eyes brimming with tears she shares how she felt when He looked into her eyes and the way her heart melted when He spoke to her.

We read that this woman returned to her town and proclaimed, "He told me everything I ever did" ... truly there is nothing hidden from Him.  Tucked within this story is a beautiful scripture about worshiping in spirit and in truth. When we allow our encounter with Jesus to change us there is a deep sense of gratitude and devotion.  For me, this enables and equips me to worship ... to know that He is fully aware of who I am and all my sin, and yet I am aware of His unfailing, redeeming love for me.


To worship in spirit; with every part of my being, throwing myself into His arms.  And also to worship in truth; sincerely, knowing that I cannot hide anything from Him.  My life has been forever changed by Jesus.  The gratitude and devotion that swells within me finds expression through a lifestyle of worship.

These are the words I wrote that Thursday morning:

Imagine my delight when Jesus came to me
When He came close and looked into my eyes
My aching heart was warmed within His beauty
I felt His love could fill the empty skies


His tender touch caused all my fears to vanish
His kindness gripped my jagged, jaded soul
He spoke to me and all the world grew quiet
The chaos became calm in His control


Jesus came into my life so sweetly
Jesus changed my life, He gave me beauty
He looked beyond my cold and empty stare
And then He spoke to me
I fell into His arms, He held me tight
He changed my life forever
Imagine My Delight!

Falling Leaves and Football

As we stepped outside this morning, the 77 degree weather seemed perfect for our first day of school.  When I was young we always started school just before Labor Day.  The mornings were usually a little cool, as were the evenings, and during the school day it would get very warm.  But we could tell that Fall was just around the corner.

Growing up in Southern Illinois, Fall was always my favorite season.  I loved the crispness in the air, the beautiful colors of the leaves that would soon fall to the ground. Leaf houses were waiting to be made on the lawn by forming lines with small piles of leaves to represent the different rooms, and then quickly raked into large piles to jump in. Most importantly, leaves on the ground meant football season was well under way. 

Living in Georgia, I find it difficult to start school when it is 105 degrees outside.  I'm always torn by whether to wait until after Labor Day or starting the school year early.  So this morning we began and I was very grateful for the lower temperature which made it feel more like the first day of school for me.

Our morning began with our traditional "first day of school breakfast out" ... and this year we went to the new local Bojangles.  I even allowed the children to have sweet tea, because it's just not right to go to Bojangles and not drink the tea.  This allowance on my part has been revisited in my mind several times already today.  Just not so sure my kids really needed the sugar and caffeine, but I guess I can manage a little extra "energy" on this special occasion.

I was so blessed as we sat together eating breakfast and talking about the upcoming school year.  It is a joy to see all four personalities interacting.  There is something very special about educating at home and watching the special bonding that is taking place in our family.  My children really seem to enjoy being together and this blesses me more than I can express with words.   

Today we spent time going over schedules, organizing lockers and school supplies.  We are working on some projects to help us with time management and daily schedules.  It will take a little time to settle in to our new routine, but I am confident that we can handle all necessary adjustments to make our school days go as smoothly as possible.

My friend, Gina, made a comment in a recent Facebook post:

Reminding myself: Academic subjects are only tools to teach our children to articulate the truths of God. After all isn't that the purpose of life?

As I begin this new school year, I am reminding myself of my role in my children's education.  My prayer is that they will be excited about learning and catch the vision of being lifelong learners.  In addition, I pray that they will learn how to know God and will love Him and serve Him all their days.

Now that school has officially started it's time to set aside the lazy days of summer and jump into Fall.   I don't know about you, but I'm ready for the changing of the leaves, some cooler mornings and evenings ... and a little football on the side.

Passing Through

A very dear friend of mine once went through a terrible sadness.  In her grief and times of great uncertainty I saw her tightly cling to the Word of God.  When her world was turning upside down and she was experiencing unimaginable pain she sought comfort by reading God's love letter to her. I watched one day as her eyes swollen from crying sparkled when she shared with me the comfort she had received that day from reading her Bible.  "When you pass THROUGH the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass THROUGH the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk THROUGH the fire you will not be burned..."  I admit, I had always thought of those verses simply in terms of God being with me in times of difficulty.  But that day she opened my eyes to see the hope and encouragement that God was offering. The difficulty is not permanent. There is hope.  

Be encouraged if you are experiencing a great time of suffering right now. God is with you and you will reach the other side because you are passing THROUGH.

Isaiah 43:1-2

Perceived as Lovable

When Jesus was asked the "trick" question about which was the greatest commandment, he replied, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind'.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it:  'Love your neighbor as yourself.'  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." 

Everything hangs on love.  The greatest commands we've been given hang on love.  All the laws, all the prophecies, how we are to live, how we serve, all the promises, all the blessings, our commitment to Christ, our daily interactions with people, our relationships with friends and family, our mission, our jobs, our ministry ... everything must have love at the center.

Unfortunately, in reality this may seem difficult even on our best days with people we like the most -- spending time doing the things we most enjoy.  But it doesn't change the truth that we are called to love. 


Love must be intentional.  Love for God and others must be pursued.  It must be nurtured.  I find myself unable to love the way I'm supposed to on my own.  But I've also discovered that this is to be expected. I'm learning that I must love with His love...love that is sincere and true. True love comes from God and my ability to love is measured by the purposeful attention I pay to receiving love from God.


We all want to be loved and most of us probably have moments when we can be pretty easy to love.  And yet, none of us are perfect. Although it's easier to love those who are "lovable", we don't get off the hook simply because we perceive someone to be less than that.  Praise God, Christ loved us and gave his life for us even though we were not perfect.  He has set the standard for us and how we should love. 


How good it is to know that Christ's love for us is not the kind of love that gets thrown around these days -- on one minute and off the next.  It is encouraging to know that His love is not determined by our charm or manipulation.  Neither is His love deterred by our appearance and behavior at its worst. My grateful heart is overwhelmed that Christ's love for us enabled him to perceive us as lovable.