Musings by the fire
The cool temperature this morning gave me the excuse I needed to build a fire in the fireplace. This is the first one since last winter. I enjoy having a fireplace and I love sitting in front of it when its bed is filled with glowing embers and the flames twirl and leap like choreographed dancers on top of the logs. The crackling and wooshing sounds compose their own beautiful melody and I find myself slowing down and taking a few moments to reflect.
I am much older than I used to be. This has become plainly apparent to me lately. There are the obvious physical indications. Gravity is making it's mark on my physical appearance, wear and tear is much more noticeable on my joints, over time the sun has affected the look and texture of my skin, and my eyes -- my eyes are not as young as I remember them being.
In addition to the physical evidences of aging, I have noticed that my life experiences have affected how I perceive life in general. This seems to be somehow closely braided with my spiritual journey. I suppose it is all part of a natural maturing process.
Reflecting with a grateful heart is sometimes overwhelming. When I stop and realize the magnitude of God's blessings in my life, it almost takes my breath away. So many wonderful gifts have been presented to me over the years. They are a pleasure to open and are accompanied by smiles and giggles, fun and laughter, abounding in feelings of joy and excitement.
But struggles and difficulties are also a part of life. We all experience them. We may not share the same strain of hardships, but we all know how it feels to walk through times of suffering.
We've probably all known darkness that felt all-consuming. The kind of pain that tears at the heart and feels like it will never end. Maybe an illness of your own, or that of a family member or dear friend. You may have experienced a broken relationship, the death of someone very dear, or endured the heartache of divorce.
There have been times in my life when I felt as though the darkness of the difficulty I was experiencing would drown me. I have even entertained thoughts on occasion that God was not near and was not going to help me.
Pain is real. Heartaches happen. Darkness does seem to veil His face at times. In these hours of distress we can become a slave to our circumstance, crippled by despair and paralyzed by fear, or we can place our hope and faith in God.
A friend of mine posted a quote on Facebook recently: Some of God's best gifts must be unwrapped in the darkness. Think of your last major trial. What "good thing" did the Lord slip into your hands in those difficult days? (Joni Erikson) Joni Erikson knows something about struggles and difficulties. She has endured sorrow and heartache. As a young women with her whole life ahead of her, she suffered a neck injury that left her a quadriplegic, bound to a wheelchair and totally dependent on others to care for her most basic of needs.
I admit that I have not experienced a struggle of this magnitude, but I believe that I have been presented with gifts that were unwrapped in the darkness of trials that seemed unbearable. In the middle of unspeakable assaults upon me by the enemy of my soul, God came near. I love this quote by Chuck Swindoll: "When you persevere through a trial, God gives you a special measure of insight. You become the recipient of the favor of God as He gives to you, and those who suffer with you, something that would not be learned otherwise."
Because God is good I can enjoy life. As I sit here in front of the beautiful fire that burns in my fireplace I can reflect on the amazingly good life God has given me and say confidently that I wouldn't want to have experienced it without my share of sorrow. All along the journey I have witnessed His faithful provision.
One of my favorite provisions, beyond the obvious love for my husband and children, is something that causes my heart much joy. God has given me the gift of amazing friends. My life is filled with awesome friends that far exceed what I could have ever hoped for or imagined. Beautiful people with lovely hearts. Individuals who cause me to laugh and who inspire me to grow and shower me with love and acceptance.
My skin may be losing the fight with gravity and sun damage, my joints and eyes may evidence my years on earth, but my journey is sweet. My heart declares that every day is made by God and whether it is filled with sunshine or rain, it gives reason to rejoice. Indeed, I am living the best days of my life.
